the next president of the united states will be george dubya bush. his brother will deliver the electoral seats for the state of florida. that leaves ohio and pennsylvania. he will lose ohio and squeak out pennsylvania. that's 2 out of 3 swing states for dubya. that means victory for dubya. for the love of god, i hope i'm wrong...
the bush sisters will be the life of the inauguration party only after dick cheney, as a practical joke, feigns a cornary infarction. neither the dixie chix nor bruce springsteen will be performing...
osama bin laden will not be caught on dubya's watch. too many family ties...
the eskimos will beat the roughriders. the lions will defeat the eskimos. the tiger-cats will pummel the argos. the alouette will hang on to defeat the tiger-cats. drumroll... the lions will beat the alouette to win the grey cup, to the great consternation of stamp fans...
the grey cup will be won on the last play of the game on a trick play involving an "on side" kick or punt. the "on side" player who recovers the ball will only be noticed because he will fire off an incendiary device planted either on his helmet or in his pants.
the stamps will miss the playoffs in 2005.
ralph klein will be the next premier of alberta. ok, that's a stretch... even if he tends to his ill mother the rest of the campaign. his party will lose 2 additional seats to the opposition. one of which will be in calgary of all places.
singer joni mitchell will arrive at the "order of canada" induction ceremony in a "big yellow taxi", only to declare that "'i'm a radio' and am ineligible for the award but please 'help me'".
newfoundland will receive 100 percent of off-shore oil and gas revenues only after paul martin receives assurances that the "rest of canada" will get joey smallwood and rex murphy in return.
paul martin will lose the next election in a landslide...
tweeds will come back into fashion...
Sunday, October 31, 2004
predictions, predictions, predictions
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4 comments:
Can you predict my future please?
Who needs CNN? Fox News? CTV NewsNet?
All useless, now that we've got the Big Tub of Goo Network.
All the news, all the time, before it's news.
And hell, I'd take Rex Murphy alone.
He's an excellent MD.
hey dean,
hate to do this to you, but here it is (adjust for gender):
When I was just a little girl [boy],
I asked my mother [father],What will I be?
Will I be pretty?
Will I be rich?'
Here's what she [he] said to me:
Que sera, sera,
Whatever will be, will be;
The future's not ours to see.
Que sera, sera,
What will be, will be.
When I grew up and fell in love,
I asked my sweetheart, What lies ahead?
Will we have rainbows
day after day?
Here's what my sweetheart said:
Que sera, sera,
Whatever will be, will be;
The future's not ours to see.
Que sera, sera,
What will be, will be.
Now I have children of my own,
They ask their mother [father], What will I be?
Will I be handsome?
Will I be rich?
I tell them tenderly:
Que sera, sera,
Whatever will be, will be;
The future's not ours to see.
Que sera, sera,
What will be, will be.
but seriously, you have time on your side.
i predict that you will be inspired by your travels. combined by your penchant for humanitarian aid, i predict you will chose this route. there are many options as to how you'll reach this goal. i'm not sure what you'll do exactly.
hey kyle,
i'm glad you're enjoying the pseudo-news.
i see my self as america's most reliable pseudo-news source... no left/right wing spin in this blog!!!
as for rex murphy, i guess he's ok in a trade.
joey smallwood? i guess we can prop him up in the corner.
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