the heat's just killin' me...

man, was it hot out today. i thought it was summa time. i took a picture of these apple blossums in the backyard thinking they were tell tale signs of spring!! damn that global warming, eh? (note: i tried for about a half hour to get a pic of blossum being siphoned by a bee. mission impossible my friends... i wish i had a 100 mm macro lens.)

what's a guy to do on a hockey playoff game-less night?

perhaps watch some movies on dvd?

the man who wasn't there...

i was a little skeptical about the title (i judge books by their cover as well). generally, i have difficulties getting into movies with slow moving stories. i almost gave up watching after 10 minutes, but i stuck with it. good thing. i thought the plot and characters were incredibly compelling as the movie went on.

really smart performances by billy bob and frances mcdormand. my favourite character was the sleazy, drama queen-like lawyer played by tony shalhoub. he was hilarious.

nevermind if you didn't like the coen brothers' o' brother, where are thou?. i thought it sucked too, but you'll like this coen film.

by the way, scarlett johansson, who appeared as birdy, was her usual sultry, hot self.

kill bill, vol. 2.

a whole lotta explainin' goin' in this film. i agree with soapydave that vol. 2 was self contained. but, hell, i would have missed lucy liu and all of that ku fung fightin' in vol. 1.

with all the explanations, the film doesn't lose anything in terms of entertainment value. the cinematography was just amazing - very stylish. if i could do that for a living...?!?!

most memorable characters were Pai Mei, kung fu master/classic chinese xenophobe, and Budd (michael madsen).

a girl, a pair of pearl earrings, a bag of chips.

bubba: uh, soapydave, what you think of this earring movie? dave: dunno, couldn't hear it over your snoring...

the scarlett johansson film fest rolled into 17th century Holland on the back of a leaky, slow boat of a flick called girl with pearl earrings.

essentially, girl with pearl earrings was about a painting by the same name and how it came to be.

the movie opened with griet, a very young flemish house maid, entering the household of malcontents led by the extremely unprolific Dutch master painter johannes vermeer (played by colin firth). griet's days were filled with the menial of tasks and dealing with vermeer's psychotic family: his wacky paranoid wife, mother-in-law-from-hell, and evil daughter cornelia who reminds me of the kid in deliverance.

eventually, she was assigned to clean vermeer's top secret studio. she and vermeer forged a relationship. one thing led to another. you'd think they be ripping each other's clothes off at some point in time. no! (lost in translation de ja vu music please).

vermeer recognized talent when he saw it. if this poor illiterate girl wasn't a slave, she'd be a great artist like me!! yes!! those clouds aren't just white. they're yellow with shades of grey. nothing's just black and white, eh. i'm not sure if this relationship blossomed or not.

vermeer was a great artist. that's all he wanted to do was paint. he had bills to pay and a wretched family to take care of. to do this he had to deal with his one and only wealthy patron, a boorish, perverted mr. van ruijven. with less than honourable intentions, van ruijven commissioned vermeer to paint his lovely assistant griet, under the nose of the paranoid mrs. vermeer.

it took a monumental effort to watch this movie to completion. lost in translation was a suspense thriller complete with car chases compared to earrings.

in terms of plot, scarlett, who gave a magnificent performance, just didn't have enough to work with. besides scrubbing floors and floating in and out her master's studio, she seemed lost most of the time.

she posed alot. that was good.

i didn't care for the supporting characters. there was nothing to like about them. they were just a nasty bunch.

the relationship between vermeer and griet just didn't seem to develop properly. i mean it didn't seem plausible. i don't think they were even friendly. vermeer seemed like a mouse compared to greit. i sensed no sizzle...not even steak. i'm sorry. it was just awkward. really.

so many contradictions... so little time.

i'm tempted to watch this movie again. then maybe not...

for now, i'm happy to report that scarlett was still quite hot. i liked that bonnet she was wearing.

rating: 5 scarlett's outta 5. for the movie: 4 snooze button hits outta 5.

next: in good company.

same crap, different day...

name that tune...

this morning i heard one of the greatest lines to open a song:

"i've got a good mind to give up livin' and go shopping instead..."

that was hot...

can you guess who the artist is and the name of the tune? answer in the comments.

the rrrrrrrrroll-up-the-rrrrrrrrrim supreme court makes a landmark decision...

LB (little boy) and his sister, LG (little girl) were over on saturday for a lil' snack. the tim horton's (the iconic doughnut franchisor) debacle in the province of quebec was on our brains.

for out-of-towners, read this article...

well, in a vote of 3 to 0, we, the justices of rrrrrim rrrrrolling, decided "finders keepers....losers weepers".

so, drop the DNA testing and hand over the keys to the first girl...pronto.

the film festival continues...

i watched lost in translation last night as part of my on-going scarlett johansson film festival.

i'm sure many of my loyal readers have already seen this movie. i'll just get to the heart of the matter.

scarlett johansson was pretty hot.

but, what about bob? i thought bill murray was outstanding in his role as "bob harris", consummate american actor. i'll rank bill's role up there with his effort in groundhog day (one of my most favourite movies of all time). there were plenty of chances for bill's zany comic ability to manifest itself. watching the hospital scene in lost, i was on the edge of my seat, thinkin' "bill's going to bust this thing open any second now." but he kept it real (in character) and delivered an excellent, understated (for bill), but brilliant and precise performance.

normally, i skip movies like lost in translation. heavy on relationships and slow. well, the movie was just that. however, the evolution of an unlikely relationship between two seemingly lonely souls was captivating. they developed a friendship that seems to be missing with their own spousal relationships. there was sizzle between them alright. you'd think they'd hook up. yes!! but, at an emotional, intellectual level. that, my friends, was fascinating...yet refreshing.

that movie wasn't slow at all. in fact, the tension between the characters fueled the pace like high octane gas injected into a hot hemi engine.

i was sad at the end...

about scarlett, she was hot. it's good to know she's interested in older men. well, cinematically speaking, i guess.

so far, she's played a got-it-together girl in ghost world. then she played the completely clueless clone in the island. now, i've seen her playing a confused, not-so-got-it-together girl. i need to see her cry.

rating: 5 scarlett's out of 5.

next movie in the film festival: girl with a pearl earring...

mystery #42 or the agony of defeat.

where in the world was this pic taken?
switzerland 2, canada 0 in men's olympic hockey...

well that kind of sucked.

i was already to write about how swell it felt to watch the US women's hockey team lose yesterday. then the canadian men's all-stars really stunk up the joint this morning. notice i didn't use the word team to describe the canadians. they were just a bunch of all-stars today.

i have to give the swiss full credit. they were the only team on the ice today. they got the 2 goal lead and played the trap like there was no tomorrow. plus their goaltender, marty gerber played like a brick wall. oh, i know how good he is... he's on the ol' fantasy hockey team. hey marty, give me a shutout like that once in awhile, eh.

was this debacle a national disaster? yes, but the tourney's not over yet.

what's next for the canadians? finland. they better get their act together fast. jarome iginla, marty st. louis, joe thorton amongst others, wake up!!!!

other hockey tourney observations...

slovaks and finns have to be tourney favourites now. very strong teams.

on the bubble: switzerland and the russians...

flopping around like a cod outta water: canada, usa, and the czech republic.

annus horribilis...

montreal canadiens' goalie jose theodore's having a fine year. other than his grotesque performance on the ice this year, he was recently caught using an anti-baldness drug in a doping test... than yesterday he fell on an icy sidewalk and suffered an ankle fracture.

ron maclean unwittingly called it a "hairline" fracture. seriously...

canadian medal of the day...

props go out to figure skater jeff buttle for his bronze medal performance. congrats jeff, even though i don't recognize the legitimacy of your sport. however, you performed well above expectations.

DVD's on the go...

i'm in the middle of a scarlett johansson film fest.

ghost world... good movie, eh. post-teenage angst. cross between ferris bueller and napolean dynamite. scarlett's voice was driving me crazy. now if she could work in a russian accent...
the island... sci-fi thriller, with scarlett and ewan macgregor. fun movie if you're into post-apocalyptic scenarios mixed in with eugenics and brokeback mountain... scarlett is kind of hot....

next in the que: lost in translation, girl with a pearl earring, match point...

ongoing projects: star trek TNG and TOS.