Tuesday, February 28, 2006

AR 9

well, the ninth incarnation of the amazing race started tonight on CBS. i don't think i'm giving away much my sayin' the first leg took our wild and wacky american teams overseas to brazil. i guess they surmised that there was nothing really "amazing" about driving around america in an SUV like in the last race.

as per usual here's my lowdown (or as much i could tell) on the teams involved:

BJ & Tyler (the hippies or dead ringers for the beegees): dude, i liked them. they're funny. they's gonna be around for a while. top 4 maybe if they can keep up the intensity.

Ray & Yolanda (token black couple): bendin' over in tight pants ain't so swell for american women in brazil, eh. i don't see an imminent exit for this couple, yet.

Danielle & Dani (team HOT or pink): if i was on this race, i would be so distracted by these chicks. eye contact would be difficult, if you know what i mean... i hope they stick around till the end. did i mention, they like boys...

Wanda & Desiree (team hot tamale): Desiree is one hot tamale (her words. and, i tend to agree with her). her mum is kind of annoying. interesting to see them operate in a non-latin american country. otherwise, very smart team. top 4.

Lake & Michelle: token type A dentist type and his southern belle wife. might go far if his head doesn't explode. hope there isn't any spousal abuse...

Eric & Jeremy (the frat boys): the alpha male team. only potential weakness is team HOT. if they think with the right head, they could be top 4. by the way, they really like girls ...

Fran & Barry (the token sr. citizen couple): i wanna say hopeless but they showed some competiveness (i.e. didn't quit). self proclaimed strength of superior intellect was absent for 99 percent of the leg.

Dave & Lori (team geek/nerd): i can identify with these folks. i liked them. Top 4.

John & Scott (team gay): hopeless. one guy cares. the other could careless.

Lisa & Joni (the Amazon sisters): hopeless. the endless shrieking... the horror... "shock and awe"? not.

Joseph & Monica (team Ken & Barbie): the beautiful people. the type of people i usually hang around with... well, i was so enamoured with their beauty i forgot to judge their competence. how bout mid range finishers?

prediction: the frat boys, team hot tamale, the beegees, the nerds/geeks... not necessarily in that order.

note: when the hell are they going to have a token american-asian team on the show, eh? there's always this option for the bruthas and sistas.

Monday, February 27, 2006

i declare the 20th winter olympics closed...

mystery #43: what is this object?

after 15 days i'm olympic'd out.

brief summary:

  1. we did good.
  2. the canadian women rocked.
  3. i hope i never see any of those stupid yoplait commercials ever again.
  4. i didn't mind the beaver commercials.
  5. go vancouver! they's gonna do a swell job.
  6. who wants to go x-country skiing, eh?
  7. i'm gonna take up curling.
  8. who won the men's hockey tourney? wait, don't answer that. who cares?

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


plain and simple. this men's olympic hockey team has been a total unmitigated disaster.

complete utter system failure.

bottomline: you cannot win hockey games if you cannot score goals.

there were a handful players who deserved to put on the maple leaf (i don't mean toronto) jersey: martin brodeur, joe sakic, vincent lecavalier, martin st. louis, and shane doan. that's all... the rest were just along for the ride.

they just couldn't adapt. there was no sustained fire. there was no sustained passion. no sense of urgency.

we'll be back in 2010.

i'll be very depressed and bitter till then...

chandra crawford...

with all this negative talk, i don't want to take anything away from chandra crawford's gold in the x-country ski sprints this morning. i was just watching the replay tonite. her victory wasn't a fluke. she dominated and just blew away a pretty formidable field.

this has got to be THE sweetest moment for canada at these games so far.

gold, gold, gold!!!!


our women olympians are hot, meng. so far today, gold (Cindy Klassen) & silver (kristina Groves) in 1.5 K speedskating AND a gold for Chandra Crawford in the x-country sprint.

Chandra who? i love it when i'm surprised. these are the best medals.

the russians are coming, the russian are coming...

one hour before game time. gettin' very excited, eh...

i better go to the washroom beforehand.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

olympic hockey prognostications...

thanks to qtlibrarian for her eyewitness reports on delinquent petroleum workers watching hockey on company time. they should get back to work lickety split or the next ralphie rebate cheque might be delayed.

however, i think this abhorrent behaviour will worsen for at least one more day.

the quarter final pairings have been determined. looky-here, we're playing our longtime pals from the other piece of tundra. yep, the russkies. we go way back.

it's going to be tough game. really tough. they've got superstars like ovechkin, kovalchuk, and datsyuk. they can make the best opposition look like a bunch of on-ice pylons.

my suggestions: nail their defense with big checks, shoot alot, counterattack hard, keep out of the penalty box, and pray that marty brodeur stands on his head. oh, i forgot. avoid, at all cost, a shoot out.

i think they will build upon the incremental improvement they showed in the czech game to carry them through.

prediction: tough to say. i surmise 2 scenarios. first, canada will be blown out of the rink. second, and i believe the more likely scenario to occur, it will be a nail biter. one goal difference in favour of canada. marty brodeur will keep us in the game and give us a chance to win.

other games:

US vs. Finland: the americans, to my chagrine, are alot better than their pathetic record in the round robin. prediction: americans 3-2.

Czechs vs. Slovaks: Slovaks will cash the Czechs (ha), 4-2. the fourth goal being an empty net.

Swedes vs. Switzerland: i predict swiss player paul dipietro (ex-canadian) will blast the puck from the centre red line towards the swedish goal. the puck will hit the goalie in the mask, pop up in the air, on the way down, hit the goalie in the back and roll into the net. that will be the winning goal. the swedish coach, at the post game press conference, will think aloud, "we should of played the canadians, in retrospect, 'cause those guys didn't look so swell in the round robin".

looks like i'm going to be either really happy or really depressed tomorrow. can't wait...

happy birthday mum!!!

happy bday...

first of all, it's my mum's bday. happy birthday mum!!! she'll never read this but what the hay...

canada 3 czech republic 2

better result. they're improving. the boys got an early soft goal but they needed it bad. today's monsters were brodeur, richards, st. louis, vince, gagne, sakic, pronger, and blake. couple of more players have still gotta get on the same page.

more cliches?

no sense in criticising a win...

it ain't over till it's over.

i know. it was a meaningless game but it was a hell of lot better than going into the medal round oh and three.

canada 2 sweden 0...

i love this canadian hockey team.

the young players were so good. my favourite player is cherie piper. she had a monster game. the first time i saw her play, in the '02 olympics or even earlier, i thought she was a helluva player.

i was watching the medal presentation. when it came time for colleen sostorics, canadian defence woman, to receive her gold medal, she was just bawling her eyes out with joy.

well, i lost it after that.

dastardly, cowardly...

when i woke up this AM i read that the coach of the swedish men's hockey team was thinking of "throwing" their game against some crappy team. that way they can avoid playin' canada in the next round.

what kind of competition is this?

they should throw this guy out of the tourney.

he is weak...

can't wait till we pummel his team.

that's if the swedes can get past the swiss...

oprah's law.

looks like oprah's law is universal. click here.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

everybody gotta have a dream...

finland 2 canada 0...

pffft...i just found out we clinched a spot in the medal round of men's olympic hockey...

all this time i thought we were in trouble. the games don't even count...

phew. what a relief, eh?

today's game? the finns slammed our hockey heroes in the first period. and then, shut'er down with the trap the rest of the game. i thought the flyin' finns played the trap so well, it reminded me of "old" nhl... you know, the old, boring, obstruction-filled nhl. you'd expect better from the finns, eh.

i think the boys are stuck in the "new" nhl. they've walked into the trap the last two games.

maybe it's time to uninstall the software upgrade and re-install version 1.0. fight fire with fire.

now only if they can score a goal.

there's a day off for team canada tomorrow. may i make a suggestion? they should rent out kurt russell's miracle on ice and play it over and over and over...

there is hope, my babies...

dvd's meng...

"man is a dog, meng. i don't mean an individual man. i mean mankind, meng..."

i sat through the first ten minutes of hustle and flow and i couldn't understand a damn thing the bruthas were saying. i turned on the english subtitles and i still couldn't understand a damn thing. then i put on the my mofo ebonic headphones...

i nearly quit on this movie, meng.

as it turned out, hustle and flow was an amazing movie. terrence howard plays a small time down and out p.i.m.p., drug dealer, hustler-turned-wannabe-rapper, meng.

this is the second movie i've seen him in. the first movie being "crash". he is an incredible actor, meng. i dunno what to say other than he had me believing. i haven't seen a performance like this since ralph fiennes played that insane concentration camp director in schindler's list.

this movie must have been nominated for sumthang. so, i checked oscar.com. lo and behold howard is nominated for best actor. but then, it was left out for best pic. got totally dissed. there's no justice in this world, meng. that's one of the reasons why i really don't watch the oscars no mo. i'll watch this year just to hear howard rap "it's hard out here for a pimp" which was nominated for best song.

that should freak out the fcc, meng...

Saturday, February 18, 2006

mystery #42 or the agony of defeat.

where in the world was this pic taken?
switzerland 2, canada 0 in men's olympic hockey...

well that kind of sucked.

i was already to write about how swell it felt to watch the US women's hockey team lose yesterday. then the canadian men's all-stars really stunk up the joint this morning. notice i didn't use the word team to describe the canadians. they were just a bunch of all-stars today.

i have to give the swiss full credit. they were the only team on the ice today. they got the 2 goal lead and played the trap like there was no tomorrow. plus their goaltender, marty gerber played like a brick wall. oh, i know how good he is... he's on the ol' fantasy hockey team. hey marty, give me a shutout like that once in awhile, eh.

was this debacle a national disaster? yes, but the tourney's not over yet.

what's next for the canadians? finland. they better get their act together fast. jarome iginla, marty st. louis, joe thorton amongst others, wake up!!!!

other hockey tourney observations...

slovaks and finns have to be tourney favourites now. very strong teams.

on the bubble: switzerland and the russians...

flopping around like a cod outta water: canada, usa, and the czech republic.

annus horribilis...

montreal canadiens' goalie jose theodore's having a fine year. other than his grotesque performance on the ice this year, he was recently caught using an anti-baldness drug in a doping test... than yesterday he fell on an icy sidewalk and suffered an ankle fracture.

ron maclean unwittingly called it a "hairline" fracture. seriously...

canadian medal of the day...

props go out to figure skater jeff buttle for his bronze medal performance. congrats jeff, even though i don't recognize the legitimacy of your sport. however, you performed well above expectations.

DVD's on the go...

i'm in the middle of a scarlett johansson film fest.

ghost world... good movie, eh. post-teenage angst. cross between ferris bueller and napolean dynamite. scarlett's voice was driving me crazy. now if she could work in a russian accent...
the island... sci-fi thriller, with scarlett and ewan macgregor. fun movie if you're into post-apocalyptic scenarios mixed in with eugenics and brokeback mountain... scarlett is kind of hot....

next in the que: lost in translation, girl with a pearl earring, match point...

ongoing projects: star trek TNG and TOS.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

the "c" word...

a perfect olympic snack...

i thought i'd write about the "c" word tonite but decided against it. it's too easy to sit back and criticise specific canadian olympians... so, i thought i'd just write down a few observations.

  1. use reverse psychology for vancouver.
  2. if athletes think the pressure was great in torino, wait till vancouver...
  3. i'm really impressed by athletes who come back from disappointment to do well.
  4. i'm even more impressed by someone who unexpectingly does well.
the dream team...

talking about a team that must win, i'm looking forward to watching the canadian olympic hockey team. the possible line combinations are incredible. just think of joe sakic setting up jarome iginla (vice versa) with draper digging out the puck. joe thorton setting up rick nash or simone gagne. damn, there's the ready made line of richards/lecavalier/st. louis. they still have to fit in dany heatley. even without scott neidermayer and ed jovanovski, the defence is still pretty solid.

winning the gold won't be an easy task though. i believe the czechs will be the toughest opponents of all, but we cannot discount the russians, finns, swedes, americans, and even the slovaks.

we will win. the difference? our biggest weapon of all, martin brodeur, is still the best goalie in the universe in my opinion. he had a slow start to the nhl season but he's been standing on his head for the last 6 weeks.

my advice to the boys: win this thing in regulation time.

i can't wait for the gold medal game. i still remember the 2002 salt lake olympic games. i had to work the day of the hockey final (canada vs. usa). dave hooper brought out a tv and set it up in front of the fireplace at chapters. i tried to work but it was impossible. as the game progressed, you could of heard a pin drop in the receiving room clear across the store. amazingly, there were customers walking around... what the hell, eh? suffice to say, they could of walked out with one of those stupid leather couches that day and we wouldn't of batted an eyelash.

x-country skiing...

i'd like to thank the norwegian coach who handed sarah renner, a canadian x-country skier, a replacement ski pole, during the team relay final. the canadians went on to win a silver medal while the norwegian team finished fourth.

to all wacky muslims burning the norwegian flags in cartoon protests out there: take it easy lads, norwegians aren't a bad lot at all. well, not all of them.

dick cheney story won't die...

finally the bush/cheney administration's honeymoon with the press is over.

i guess the iraqi war wasn't sensational enough bring out the media hawks.

stephen harper, you've many things to learn from your right-winged brethren to the south in terms of honeymoon longevity...

Monday, February 13, 2006

happy valentine's my babies...

Your Candy Heart Says "Cutie Pie"

You always seem to have a hot date, even though you never try to meet anyone.

A total charmer, you have a natural appeal that keeps you in high demand.

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: multiple dates with multiple people

Your flirting style: 100% natural

What turns you off: serious relationship talks

Why you're hot: you're totally addicting

film vs. digital...

for those who think they'll miss film photography when they switch to digital: new kodak software.

humps of the day...

thanx ezra levant for making yourself a no-brainer choice, again!!

safe to say VP cheney ain't shootin' blanks eh. whoops, way too much detail. what a hump...

olympic commercial of the day...

the setup... for a canada deposit insurance corporation commercial, a little old chinese lady is burying her life's savings under a tree in her backyard...

my mum says her family used to do this back in the old country. not that they didn't trust the bank. there just weren't any banks, at all.

it was funny, but my grandma, god luv her, used to stash money all over her apartment till the day she left this fine existence.

Monday, February 06, 2006

conservatives = liberals =...

i couldn't work up the nerve to watch the swearing in of harper's government this AM.

but, i did notice some interesting appointments or rejects though.

clearly, the most surprising posting was the new minister of international trade and minister for the pacific gateway and the vancouver-whistler olympics, david emerson. first, that's a helluva job title. second, but not least, this guy just ran and won as a liberal in the election!! deja vu, my friends... if i was a constituent in his vancouver riding who voted for him, i'd be mad as hell. why didn't he run as a conservative in the first place?

what's the difference between this case and belinda stronach's defection? let me guess, belinda was a woman with huge political ambitions (not like this emerson guy).

moreover, isn't offering a cabinet post or any other incentive to prospective turncoats illegal?

well, if you thought that there's a fiscal imbalance in the country, there's a democratic deficit as well. to get "representation" in the greater montreal region, the pm appointed non-elected michael fortier as minister of public works (of all portfolios). holy crap, he made him a senator as well. what happened to the EEE senate? thank god harper qualified his pick by saying fortier'll run in the NEXT election.

probably the most disappointing snubs were calgary mp's jason kenney, rob anders, and diane ablonczy for cabinet posts. kenney and anders would have of sunk the ship but, man, the parliamentary session would have been way more fun. as for ablonczy, i'm going to miss her whining and shrieking as she fades into the backbenches or at least that's what i hope.

the greatest lesson today? the more things change in the political life of this country the more they stay the same.

by the way, when are we going to see the 6 percent gst...?

i love complaining. that's why i casted my vote...

superbowl XL slumberfest...

i got to see the 40th superbowl on HDTV (thanx gawgy). man, that aaron neville guy has a tattoo right on his face.

my other observations:

aaron neville? what the hell happened to the national anthem? worst rendition of a national since the singing of o canada at the 88 winter olympics.

ice cold first half. someone should of checked ben roethlisberger for a pulse.

bad reffing.

those rolling stone guys are gettin' really old. they were the best part of the show. that shows how bad the super bowl was.

trick plays were kind of fun but the rest of the play fizzled.

favourite commercial: leonard nimoy flogging arthritis ectopic cream at a trekkies' convention...

i really like canadian football.

Friday, February 03, 2006

these cartoons aren't really funny...

so, the furor over the islamic cartoons rages on... once again, there's plenty of blame to go around.

let's take the publishers first. man, they are dumb. yes, there is the freedom of speech. it's a nice freedom to have. not a right to be taken lightly or trivialized. however, i'm not exactly familiar with european laws, but there must be limitations. what were these people (publishers) thinking when they published cartoons of Mohammed with a bomb wrapped in his turban (i've seen the image by the way)? they are nothing less than insensitive. maybe inciting is the better word? how about spreading hatred? stupid, stupid people... what were they trying to achieve?

western governments, like denmark, are pretty much hiding behind this right of free speech when they say they can't control an "independent" media. it then must be rather odd that danish embassies are offering apologies to the muslim populations of their host countries. maybe they should pass some laws against hatred of a particular groups of people (if they haven't already) and enforce them (which they don't seem to want to do).

now the "muslim" reaction. i italicize muslim to discriminate between real muslims (98 percent who worship peacefully) and the 2 percent who are the criminal fanatics. i can understand the reaction of real muslims. they're deeply offended but they're not going out there promoting violence...once again their religion is being dragged through the mud not only by some stupid Westerners but also by the reaction of the idiot extremists. it's those idiots who are threatening innocent people with death or kidnapping that are disturbing. they are not doing Islam a favour when they go off the rails like they usually do.

judging by the mass protests, this basis for this outrage has gone way beyond the publishing of a few caricatures of the Prophet. the rage and despair displayed in the news reports are incredible...

in the meantime, people and governments are screaming at one another but no one's really listening...

anyway, allah wa'akbar.