i luv the home depot, i luv the home depot, i luv the home depot...

i was doing stuff today.

first, i found myself at the fish creek depot. the cue of recyclers went out the door. i hate going there. people usually snicker at me for some reason when i'm there. you see, i carry the empties in a large box. the box originally contained ultra attends. i wondering if them trailer park people are laughing at that.

second, i needed to buy dirt. so, i hoofed it over to golden acres garden centre by fish creek. the creek didn't swamp it with monsoon water. so, i was able to shop. did you know that they played canned bird chirping sounds there? how bizarre... i went up and down the aisles of tiny pots of plants. they had all kinds of plants from the 4 corners of the globe. i felt like i was at the zoo or in a giant terrarium.

third, i went over to the stupid store. i love the superstore. i love the self checkout. scanning the barcodes. hearing the beep of the scanner as i passed a 2 litre tub of nacho cheese over it reminded me of better times long ago. i chose to pay by credit card. one smooth stroke of the mastercard through the swiping machine... a flick of the wrist. ahhhh...i still got the rhythm...

fourth, i went to the cibc to buy a money order. my mum wants to remove a tree growing on top of "woo family" house in china (click here and look at photo #2). she's afraid that one it might fall and kill someone someday... she wrote the mayor of the village. it took 3 months for the guy to respond. 500 quay (chinese money) it's going to cost!!! that's 75.89 canadian dullah!!! she wanted a money order made out for 150 dullah!?! that's double... mum, are you trying to put the mayor's kids though college? yep. o' ways of the o' country never die...

fifth, i went over to my bro's house. he and the fam are in disney world... i'm takin' care of business in the meantime. they have a goldfish. i must keep it alive... i'm a good uncle...

sixth, i had to go to the home despot, i mean depot. i luv the home depot. they respect my ethnicity. well, they actually ignore me. i'm not paranoid. i need garden fertilizer. i don't believe in organically grown food. all food is organic. how can we eat something that is not chemically organic? i digress. i que up to pay for it. where do all these people come from? doesn't anyone work anymore? a chinese kid was at the till. i bet he liked scanning stuff, too... blah blah blah. thanx. cya later. as i'm walking out of the giant tent, a beautiful lily plant catches my eye. i must have it. this time there wasn't a que at the till. yeah!

the chinese kid quipped, "you back again chief?".

i stood there flabbergasted. i've never been called "chief" before.

i never felt better at a home depot.

after thought.

a house boat is swamped in the okie-noggin lake by kelowna. apparently some smart person/people decided to jam on 61 people for the full moon submarine races. the boat goes down. a passenger dies.

i thought i was reading the news from india/bangladesh.

the captain of the boat deserves a darwin award...