Wednesday, June 08, 2005

a good yet unsatisfying movie it was...

spoil the ending, i can't. read on, my friends.

despite the warnings of my friend mike i watched star wars E1 and E2. it took a week to do it, but i got through it...all for the purpose of preparing for E3.

my reviews:

E1

pros: nice, the music was. nice, natalie portman was... ewoks, there weren't.

cons: my friend glen gave me advice about making movies. one, don't use kids. two, don't use animals. very wise man, glen was. most irritating elements of E1? one, the kid playing darth vader (i'm not giving anything away am i?). two, jar jar binks (i know i'll get hate comments about his classification as an animal).

mmmm...that chancellor guy looked kind of familiar and i don't mean mr. burns, he looked...

poor, poor, poor, the dialogue was.

E2.

pros: rocked, yoda did. no ewoks, there were.

cons: that "ani" guy was really getting on my nerves. i hope he dies... what the hell does natalie portman see in that guy? there's hope for all of us...

poor, poor, poor, the dialogue continued.

E3.

waste 2 hours of my life, did i?

pros: ewoks there weren't. 5 seconds of jar jar binks. best of the "prequels", clearly it was. rocked again, did yoda. should of built the whole movie around him.

enjoyed the fighting scenes, i did. f.u.n., it was. graphics too busy, some say. not bad.

cons: anti-climatic. fighting scenes were excellent but the fact that E's 1,2, and 3 were prequels precludes any suspense intended. i sat there thinking yoda can't die. good fight darth and obi but you guys ain't gonna bite it. at least not yet... resist the evil sith lord, anakin must. weak man, he was...doh.

anakin skywalker was annoying again, did i mention?

dialogue problems continued. distracting, it was. good actors, george lucas had. mitigated by bad dialogue, they were. case in point, the relationship between the future darth vader (i hope this wasn't a spoiler) and his mentor obi-wan kenob. master, was who? was not even funny, the quips between them. even reduced to babbling, natalie portman was.

conclusion: the history of characters and their universe, the movie did explain, but do you really need this knowledge to enjoy the original trilogy? think so, i don't. could these prequels be a money grab by george lucas and 20th century fox, i thought? cynical, i am? not i. suckah, was i? mmm...maybe.

otherwise, listened to mike, i should.

episode 4, i can't wait.

11 comments:

Len said...

I agree with you that the actors were good except for Hayden Christensen. He was more wooden than Pinocchio, pre-carving.

soapyDave said...

i'll go see it but what I'm really waiting for is Indy 4 - it was originally supposed to open in three weeks but it's been pushed back a year because Lucas wasn't happy with parts of the script (I'm guessing the dialogue was too good, perhaps?)

bubba said...

len, that guy was a mono-syllabic hothead. if he was the true "apprentice", donald trump would have said, "ya fired...". hey, the donald as the evil emperor...? bring on the tv series now!!!

bubba said...

dave, don't let lucas touch the script to indy 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for the love of god, noooooooooooooooooo!!! wait till you hear that line in E3. it's a classic.

soapyDave said...

they mention god in E3??

bubba said...

nope, but several of the characters thought they were...

qtlibrarian said...

Al re: Noooooo
That line is brilliant it's so bad. He had to have been going for the cheese factor, it's impossible that no one in the editing room said "uh is that acting?"

Mike said...

Sadly I think that George Lucas isn't one for self parody. He was probably writing that line and thinking that it would be so perfect. I mean look at how bad these movies honestly were. Either he knew they were all bad and knew the line was bad, or he actually takes himself seriously as a film maker and thought that line and slow pan back were the dramatic piece de resistance of E3.

bubba said...

mike, kelsey: hard to say what lucas was thinking, eh... the indy movies were professed to be drawbacks to adventure B-movies of a long time ago. maybe as parodies of those saturday-afternoon-at-the-movie-house movies... i have this feeling that the star war movies were not made in the same light. they were "hardcore" sci-fi films to be taken seriously... well, at least E1,E2,E3 and the last half of E6.

Dillan said...

I guess I was right to skip E2 and E3. E1 was rather annoying and unimpressive in my opinion. I guess I'm too old and cynical to really be impressed. If I was 11 I would have though the whole thing was wonderful.

bubba said...

dillan, my advice is to rent them if you're ever interested...