Wednesday, March 30, 2005

i don't get it...



The NHL is considering the implementation of wider goaltending nets. The rationalization is that it will result in more goals per game which equates to a more exciting "product". It's a stupid idea. I don't get it. Why don't they just reduce the number of teams from 30 to about 15? That will get rid of alot of mediocre or poor players who can't score on the regular net. as well, the entertainment value may go up.

***


JP2: "listen up!! don't call me. i'll call you!"

What's up with the flocks of groupies who hang around the Pope all the time? You know the type. The sheep who camp out in St. Peter's Square and his hospital. The Pope is ill. He's a human being albeit old. He needs rest and relaxation. I'm not sure what all these people expect. I hope they're not expecting him to give a bible thumping sermon or to do a lil' jig. quit egging him on... He looks frustrated because he can't utter a word. Instead of shouting, in reply, "I can't hear youuuuu", go away people! For awhile at least...

***

Looks like the defunct airline Jets-go is on its way back. It's an plausible idea, according to Jets-go's president and CEO, Michel Leblanc. After all, the name Jets-go has brand recognition value! I didn't get it at first. Who in their right mind would book tickets with Jets-go? definitely, fly-by-nighters. Which airports would grant them landing rights? Then I thought: Canadians love a bargain... They love a bargain so much, they've given money to Monsieur Leblanc for the previous 3 incarnations of Jets-go. Give them cheap seats and they will come...

***

The UN is finally sending peacekeepers to the Sudan. Before we get too excited over the news, the troops will be sent to the south where the Sudanese regime has signed a peace agreement with rebels and not to the Darfur region to the west where the government has been launching genocidal attacks on the non-Muslim population. I don't get it, man...

***


Bob Mugabe: "four more years!!! four more years!!!... whatever..."

Dictator of the Week: Robert Mugabe, President of the Republic of Zimbabwe. Your assistance in liberating Zimbabwe (then Rhodesia) from white rule is to be commended but the past 5 or so years of your rule has been pure hell on your country. oppression of political opponents, hasty eviction of white farmers, resultant food shortages, famine etc. have had catastrophic effects on Zimbabwe. I was there in 1994. The people were really nice... They deserve better but unless you're deposed things ain't going to get better. That's unlikely. Elections are tomorrow. Like dung beetles on elephant shit, they'll be rigged. Congrats Bobby...

***

Michael Jackson will be found innocent...

***

Bonus Track

As an added bonus, upon popular demand, it's been on be the blog before (albeit briefly), the following clip:

click here. (only in quicktime format)

It's fairly self-explanatory. It's my car commercial debut. Thanx Dave...

Monday, March 28, 2005

Beetle Juice


Beetle Juice, originally uploaded by dean's quarter.

if i was this lady i'm not sure whether i'd be more worried about the complexion of my skin or the condition of my teeth.

anywho, check out dean's swell travel pix today!

Thursday, March 24, 2005

say cheeeeeeeeese!!



colgate: check.
favourite colgate flavour: wintergreen gel.
rubber-tipped gum invigorator: check.
toothbrush: braun 3D plaque remover, GUM.
up-down or back and forth: up-down.
dental floss: always.
waxed or unwaxed: waxed.
favourite floss flavour: mint.
crest white strips: nope.
number of teeth: 32.
average daily dental maintenance: 12 minutes.
longest time without brushing teeth: 12 days.
last trip to the dentist: 15 months ago.
crowns: none.
root canals: none.
bridges: none.
fillings: 4.
mercury-based fillings: can't remember.
wisdom teeth: 4, removed.
teeth grinding: yes.
elbows to the mouth: 2, lifetime.
favourite stain: coffee
preferred chewing side: left.
sensitivities: cold, aluminum, sharp jabs.
best set of celebrity teeth: heather locklear.
worst set of celebrity teeth: jerry lewis as the nutty professor, bobby clarke (tie).
mouth wash: listerine (blah).
dentures: not yet.
tongue brushing: weekly.
diamond-studded teeth: none.
favourite dental procedure: fluoride.
favourite fluoride flavour: creamsicle.
cracked teeth: 1.
favourite tooth: upper, central, right incisor.
current issues: receding gums (among other things) and diminishing jawbone.
mouth guard: yes, just for hockey.
dentist: a guy.
least favourite dental phrases: "open wider", "are you sure you floss?", "your plaque hangs like stalactites", "why are you crying...?", "did that hurt...?"
favourite dental phrase: "bite down, please".
favourite dental hygienist: candice.
train tracks: never.
grin: toothie.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

lariam part deux



i'm taking lariam pill #2 tonite.

so far so good. no nightmares. no bloating. no hair loss. no debilitating bouts of depression.

minimal contraindications except for a few heart palpitations and anxiety attacks. it's difficult to tell whether these are legitimate side effects or i'm experiencing psycho-somatic symptoms. methinks it's all in my noggin...

this next pill should be the tell tale, the mother of all pills...

the instructions say to take the drug with food. i don't think i did that in pakistan. i'm just glad this stuff didn't blow a hole in my stomach wall.

Monday, March 21, 2005

less is more...



blah... can one feel listless and restless at the same time...

i must be typing through the lariam...

moving on to more disturbing news. america is an amazing place. if there's an inkling of controversy, you can pretty much guarantee the convergence of packs of placard carrying protestors.

case in point, the case of terri schiavo. it's all over the news but to recap briefly, ms schiavo suffered severe brain damage due to heart failure in 1990. she's described as being in a "presistent" vegetative state.

her husband, her legal guardian, wishes to "pull the plug" on ms. schiavo. her parents want to prolong her life by maintaining life support systems.

this is truly a tragic story.

but i don't want to hear about it. i believe it's a deeply private and personal decision. it's none of our business really.

however, the case is before the florida courts. in america, that's a natural progression i guess. but what is really gruesome is the recent intrusion of george w. bush and his band of pseudo-christian zealots in this case. their intentions are dubious at best. is it a display of altruism or is it another attempt at garnering the support of the religious right. remember there are congressional elections in 2006.

so, unfortunately, ms. schiavo has become a political martyr for george w. bush and his henchmen in the republican party.

my advice, george dubya? just let it go... less government in our lives is good sometimes. remember? that's one of your biggest idears, eh...

i can't believe i just typed that...

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Tuesday, March 15, 2005



flys like a butterfly...stings like a raging death machine.

the anti-malarial drug lariam, or mefloquine, is poison... just check the extraordinarily long list of contraindications and adverse effects provided in the manufacturer's instructions. side effects range from "minor" symptoms such as dizziness, vomiting, bad nightmares, hair loss... to "severe" symptoms such as hallucinations, extreme anxiety, depression, suicidal behaviour...

i've just taken my first dose tonight as an experiment. it's not the first time i've taken the drug. i took it in 1995 in africa. back then i had really bad dreams where i repeatedly envisioned brian mulroney's face peeling off his skull. i also lost most of my hair. in 1999, i took lariam again in pakistan. i developed a skin condition, listed in the literature provided, called an edema. the skin on my upper arms would bloat and become corrugated in texture. if i pressed down on the effected area, the impression caused by my finger would last several minutes.

i hope none of these side effects return with this dose. hey, if it's the hair loss symptom again, i'll have no problem. however if it the skin reaction returns, i have no choice but to go to plan B. i'll have to take an antibiotic called doxycycline (the stuff dean took). side effects? thought you'd never ask. an increased susceptibility to getting sunburned and being zit free for the duration. the only negative is i have remember to pop one (i don't mean a zit) every freakin day.

if i sound depressed or suicidal in the next couple of posts, you'll understand why.

hey, darth vadar, my brutha...

what the hell is going on the last while...



four gravel road cops were gunned down by some hillbilly freak...
a little girl is tossed onto the 401 from an overpass by her freak father...
a gas station attendant in vancouver, trying to stop a thief from driving off with a freebie tank of gas, is run over by the crook and dragged to his death...
some freak in an atlanta court grabs a gun from a court deputy and shoots 4 court officials including the judge overseeing his rape case...
michael jackson shows up at court in his pj's? i guess he wanted his testifying victim to feel at home...

more reality than you can stomach...

who's hot:

the contender. i thought this show was going to be quite lame. but it's a pleasant surprise. i was skeptical about having the boxers' families milling about. but, they really illustrate the fact that these boxers are not just fighting for themselves. i'm not sure if i'd want to be crowd if my dad "dropped the gloves"... the fighting sequences are stupendous.

sylvester stallone, the host, is hilarious. he and everyone else thinks he's a real boxer. the guy must be pushing sixty. one scene has him working the punch bag. in comes the boxers. he stops and is quite winded. one of the boxers asks whether he should phone for an ambulance. ha! he just played a imaginary boxer in a movie, bubbas...

the only iffy part of the show is the survivor-type challenge where the east coast "team" is pitted against the west coast "team". i've always thought of boxing as a sport of individuals. anyways, if you haven't seen it yet, catch it soon...

who's not:

american idol. completely off the radar screen.

the hour.

if you haven't watched it yet, catch "the hour" on newsworld. the host is the straight-shootin george stroumboulopoulos. entertaining...hip. george almost snagged a highly prized ralphie klein interview for his up-and-coming show when ralphie mistakenly thought george was fellow greek ex-pat george stephanopoulos (ex-pres. clinton guru turned bigtime ABC sunday talk show host). suffice to say, ralphie, long time uber-cbc detractor, didn't return george stroumboulopoulos' calls thereafter.

george stephanopoulos, ironically, was guest on the hour tonight. recently, he thought he had an prize interview lined up with george w. bush. dubya cancelled when he found out the interviewer was george stephanopoulos and not george stroumboulopoulos...

i think everyone should have a chinese-like-mono-syllabic surname...

i gotta go. think i'm having a bout of depression.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

welcome home!!!

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

amazing race 7... NO SPOILERS FOR MIKE!!

ok kids, right to da bidneth!

1) rombuh (ex-survivor champ and runner-up), aka rob and amber in the reality world. i detest the fact that they are in the race at all. rob moreso than amber. at least she's nice to look at. that being said, this team is formidable. highly competitive. sorry to say this but they're top 3 material. may even win it all... easy to underestimate because rob is dumb as a sack of hammers. their downfall maybe being overly casual about the whole thing (nb. kristi and jon from AR 6). the rombuh de facto strategy is having everyone focus their energies on detesting them (because of their survivor success) then they'll win the actual race itself...

2) alex and lynn (gay guys). too early to judge, but i suspect they won't last long. funny to watch.

3) ray and deanna - ray's this year's wife abuser. but he's not as bad as last year's idiot. if they can hold it together, they're in the top 5.

4) debbie and bianca (possible lesbians - absolutely nothing wrong with that). very smart. i predict they'll be close to or break the all-time record finish for an all girls team (i.e. 4th place or better).

5) ron and kelly (blackhawk down) - dunno. they don't seem to be too bright but then they've got alot of company in their iq bracket. mid-round elimination? definitely followers...

6) meredith and gretchen - obligatory old folks. feisty. cantankerous especially gretchen. history is not on their side. should tire out soon...

7) unchenna and joyce - token black couple. so, you wanna make babies? ain't gonna make babies on the greatest race on tv (unless they're members of the mile high club)... jury's out on them. they might pick it up...

8) ryan and chuck - first hillbilly racers ever, sue-weeeee!! they're hilarious... loved it when they displayed subtitles for them at the end...

9) megan and heidi - roomies (yah...ok, whatever). they better get their act together or they're outta there fast...

10) susan and patrick - mother and son team. mum might outlast sonny-boy on this team, ha! she's got alot of pep... early elimination, maybe...

11) brian and greg - brothers (yah...ok, whatever). i will go with history on this one. they will probably win this. first time since the gay guys (reichen and whats-his-partner) in AR 2 have they allowed 2 "alpha" guys to form a team. they've got a good disposition. but, their achilles heel maybe them purdy women racers...

my ultimate prediction: it will come down to a taxi ride in the end.

line of the night: gretchen on the zip line, "i think kids call this a wedgie in school."