CRAP

first your video of the day:



what's in a name?

i was listening to the CBC morning radio show today and heard talk of the suggestion that the Liberal Party, which took a pummeling at the hands of charlie brown a couple of days ago, should start anew by first changing its brand name.

the host, jim brown, coined a clever name. he suggested The Saskatchewan Party of Alberta. I liked that.

i propose a brand of my own.

the New Citizen's for the Reforming of Alberta Politics Party or in abbreviated form, New CRAP.

Vote!

To all my loyal readers (shut-ins or not) who live in Alberta:

Vote Today!!

Honestly, I don't care if you vote for charlie brown or not, just vote!

Earn your right to gripe, as have I for the past 37 years of one party rule. ok, that one hurt. alot.

Today's shout outs:

talking about shut-ins, get well soon soapyDave.

to Lord Black: yes, it will be boring in the ol' Grey Bar hotel. Hope you packed a good book to read. Better yet, i hope u packed a rubber bung. gnome sayin'.

same, same... but different...part deux

phew... when i went away i thought politics in alberta would irrevocably change with the departure of HRH ralphie klein. just my luck. it seems this character craig chandler, a potential PC nominee in the riding of calgary egmont, has picked up the slack in the "i can't believe he said that" department of the PC party of alberta.

in response to the falling fortunes of the PC party in the polls and a less than positive door knocking campaign, craig wrote this masterpiece in an online forum:

"Firstly, Alberta is growing in a way that was never expected and many of the people coming here do not truly appreciate Alberta or even understand the history of this province or the relationship with the Alberta Progressive Conservative Party. To those of you who have come to our great land from out of province, you need to remember that you came here to our home and we vote conservative. You came here to enjoy our economy, our natural beauty and more. This is our home and if you wish to live here, you must adapt to our rules and our voting patterns, or leave. Conservatism is our culture. Do not destroy what we have created."

hmmm... it's like deja vu. or maybe a second coming of sorts.

thanx craig for bringing back the good ol' days. or should i say, the voters of calgary egmont thank you. especially those commie bastard constituents who migrated to alberta to partake in the economic boom.

crikey...

lake cameron, waterton national park.

notable observations...

the public servants at the south calgary passport office were unusually chipper and non-stoic.

i was out running this AM and was passed by a fast walker.

i was at the airport on saturday. i didn't see dharma. she mustn't have been working that day. there was a least a thousand people in the que.

i'm developing a phobia towards crossing pedestrian bridges...

breaking news...

ralphie admitted he didn't have a clue what he was doing for the past 3 years. ralphie...i've been clueless about life for the past 3 years as well. now get to the hell to the back of the line, eh.

ralphie has accepted, upon his retirement, a post as guest lecturer at the woodrow wilson international school of babbling ex-politicians. i plan on auditing his course and plagiarising the required thesis paper.

rob anders won the conservative nomination for the riding of calgary west after his lone challenger was disqualified for having a pulse and regular brain function.

APRIL FOOL'S DAY! ...NOT!

55 PERCENT!!!

mystery #44 or having fun with google earth...

mystery #44: just to the right of centre is a large asian public space. it appears as white in colour. 3 questions: 1) what is the name of this square? 2) what is the building in the southern half of the square...? clue: beach volleyball.

quotable quotes.

just some interesting quotes in the news that grabbed my attention the last few days...

too much mexican wacky tobacky and tequila...

the RCMP held a news conference with regards to those 2 canadians who were murdered in a hotel in cancun. a RCMP spokesperson defended his mexican colleagues and the integrity of their investigation. according to him, "We have full confidence in the Mexican police and in their ability to carry out this investigation in a proper fashion..."

that's hilarious. man, i got some swamp land to sell, if the Gravel Road Cops are interested. the mexican cops must be besides themselves. man, those gringos are so gullible, eh? i nearly busted a rib laughing the first time i heard this. haha...

shut up ralphie...just shut up...

"I don't need this crap," said ralphie, in response to the opposition liberals' alternatives to his "third way" plan for healthcare in alberta.

immediately thereafter, he threw a yellow pages-sized copy of the opposition document at the messenger, a 17 year old female legislative page, in a fit of uncontrollable rage...

critics have likened this assault to ralphie throwing a cream pie. c'mon, give the guy a break. he was having a bad day. he is NOT losing it. he has no previous history of this kind of rash, objectionable behaviour.

ok, i forgot there was that time where he, in a drunken stupor, threw money at poor people in a homeless shelter. ok, that was pretty bad. but, c'mon give the guy a break.

i gonna miss that guy when he hangs it up...

shoes on the other foot, inshallah...

i was watching news the other night on the cbc when they had an article on the stoppage of canadian aid money to the palestinian projects because of the election of hamas, a terrorist organization, as the new palestinian government (long sentence, eh?).

apparently, we as canadians, fund alot of feel good projects in palestine. educational funding that keep kids off the streets and give them hope for the future.

when confronted about this termination of canadian funding, a palestinian teacher said, "why should canada judge our nation by the government we elect..." i couldn't believe my ears. i did a double take. wahoo!!! the shoe's on the other foot.

i dislike it when islamists lump us "westerners" in with terrorist goverments like dubya's. i have nothing to do with the US government. yet, i'm identified with it and am subject to terrorist threats like 9/11. i bet those two canadian hostages in baghdad would have been really pissed off after hearing that comment. or, would they?

upon second thought, maybe it'd be a more peaceful world if we just accept people for who they are. live and let live... only if we can talk above our governments...

mo' better nuts...

talking about nuts...

read in that news that ralphie is rejecting the idea of setting up a registry of lobbyists in the province. yikes. apparently, he thinks it's a bad idea because he can't tell a lobbyist from a bump on a log. maybe he should review the list of PC party campaign contributors.

it's a given. everyone in canada ought to have fresh, safe water to drink. it's pitiful what happened in northern ontario. why do governments sit on their hands till they are severely embarassed? is it racism or the fact these folks aren't part of the "core" liberal vote?

it's nuts that some hockey "experts" think the game has gone downhill (well, it has if you compare it to the long gone smaller nhl). less fighting? less hitting? less clutching and holding? more speed. more skill. i don't get these complainers. are we watching the same games?

son of blah...

more disturbing news:

ralphie klein has promised a ministry of re-structuring. now there's a vision. let's throw a big ol' whoop-dee-doo, eh... another layer of bureaucracy. re-structuring? pfft. that's so 90's.

ralphie goes on to say, "I was going to do it [the re-structuring] before the election, but I decided that perhaps it would be too politically controversial [bubba's note: i can't remember alberta politics close to being this exciting... ooooohhhh, controversy...] , and it's not a good time [bubba's note: can't think of a better time than this...] to shift and move cabinet positions prior to an election, so we'll leave it until after," Klein said. "It may result in nothing at all happening, because I might not be re-elected, who knows. [bubba's note: gee ralphie, the anticipation of your defeat is killin' me. zzzzzzzz...]"

ralphie says he will "ask" albertans what they want in terms of a healthcare plan. that is, after the current election. for starters, how bout letting us elect officials for the various health regions. too bad that idea cuts too close to chain of command that ends with ralphie. too much resistance to the "wishes" of albertans.

ralphie is toying with the idea of holding a referendum on post-election heathcare reforms. why doesn't he just spill his guts about his plans and use them as centrepiece in his platform? treat the election as the ultimate referendum. hey, that's the ticket... save us some money as well.

further on the topic of healthcare privatization, ralphie says his "My main concern is to make sure that people who suffer afflictions get treatment. My primary concern is does Martha and Henry . . . or Mr. and Mrs. Grundy get his or her hip replaced?" in the next breath ralphie extolls the calgary health region for contracting out 500 such surgeries to his crony friends at the privately-owned health resource centre (formerly the holy cross hospital).

each hip operation will cost the authority an extra 10 percent on top of the what it costs normally. according to ralphie this solution may turn out to be cheaper if the cost of building more public hospitals and operating theatres is considered. he should have told us this before he blow'd up the general hospital and sold off the holy cross...

condeleeza rice is to be the next secretary of state. this only confirms my theory that a having a Ph.D. has nothing to do with one's intellectual abilities.

i saw someone putting up their xmas lights last weekend. egads.

saskatchewan kicker paul mccallum missed a critical field goal in last weekend's western conference cfl final. back home in regina, a disgruntled riders fan backed his/her truck onto mccallum's property and dumped a load of assorted manure on the lawn. the regina police cordoned off the area to catch the culprit. an unidentified officer likened the search, for the manics of manure, to shouting the name "tony" in a catholic high school.

enough of blah...

i was riding my bike home from the liberry yesterday. unbeknowst to me, my wallet dropped out of my pocket. 20 minutes after i get home, some guy comes to door with my wallet. apparently, it and the contents were scattered all over the road in front of his house. thanks to him and all decent peoples on earth.

ralphie's quotes of the day...

ralphie klein: the severely normal premier of alberta

ralphie blah:

"They didn't look severely handicapped to me. I'll tell you that for sure. Both had cigarettes dangling from their mouths, and cowboy hats."

"I know the CBC wants me to talk about AISH [province's program for the severely disabled]. I'm sure none of you want to talk to me about AISH, do you? No, because you're normal severely normal." [bubba's note: i thank my lucky stars i'm one of the severely normal ones... or am i?]

source: the severely abnormal cbc