Friday, October 28, 2005

no mo' nuts



the president of the islamic republic of iran wants to wipe the country of israel off the face of earth.

walnuts are a wonderful source of omega-3 fatty acids.

a guy named "scooter" work(ed) for the second most powerful man in the world.

there are 21 species of walnut trees.

the 2005 world champions of baseball are the chicago white sox.

walnuts are 63 percent fat.

i'm going to be the next nominee for the position of associate justice of the supreme court of the united states.

walnuts are susceptible to spontaneous combustion.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

mo' better nuts...



talking about nuts...

read in that news that ralphie is rejecting the idea of setting up a registry of lobbyists in the province. yikes. apparently, he thinks it's a bad idea because he can't tell a lobbyist from a bump on a log. maybe he should review the list of PC party campaign contributors.

it's a given. everyone in canada ought to have fresh, safe water to drink. it's pitiful what happened in northern ontario. why do governments sit on their hands till they are severely embarassed? is it racism or the fact these folks aren't part of the "core" liberal vote?

it's nuts that some hockey "experts" think the game has gone downhill (well, it has if you compare it to the long gone smaller nhl). less fighting? less hitting? less clutching and holding? more speed. more skill. i don't get these complainers. are we watching the same games?

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

tres amigos at the bull and finch...


(l to r) mike from amsterdam, dean the non-teacher...

had a couple of pops with da boys last night.

here's the skinny...

telus sux. shaw sux but not as bad.

the teaching profession has lost a bright prospect to social work. what's with that?

there's still a chance for a english speaking brother to teach in taiwan.

dean's taking 6 courses and still workin' part-time. he's super dude, eh...

people love close up pix. you cannot go wrong with close up pix.

mike is back working at chapters 772... what's with that?

what's wrong with taking advantage of a loophole? nothin'.

bookselling is still rocket science or brain surgery?

there is no such thing as cheap thai food in cowtown.

i must of had the most boring massage while in thailand...

being forthright is very refreshing.

LRT pole huggers are so not cool...

taking pictures of kids you don't know at a playground is probably a bad idea.

the year 2007 is far far far away...

the canon d5 slr camera is to die for.

nursing is a very honourable profession.

where's cheap thai food around here?

yes, i like blurry pictures.

yellow sugar is sweeter than white... just more flava.

free re-fills!!!

where was everyone else!!!???

Monday, October 24, 2005

exit, stage left...




(l to r) soapydave, dave the subterranean engineer, soapygina, autumn the dharma bum.
found in the heart of downtown inglewood is the ironwood stage and grill. in these parts, the ironwood is known for it's cavalcade of singing stars that takes to its stage rather than its cuisine. i found myself there on thursday with a small group of friends: dave, gina, and autumn.

the ironwood, contrary to it's rather austere exterior, has a rather quaint and homey interior. resembling a log cabin, in restaurant has pinewood floors and log clad walls. definitely a place where people can hang out.

the menu is small yet interesting. dave chose the jerk ribs. gina ordered the ironwood rustic burger. autumn and i would munch "the dagwood" sandwich - chicken breast seared in cajun spices, topped with jack cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato on a po' boy bun. the skinny on this sandwich? deelish... the strips of chicken were tender and juicy and expertly doused with "cajun spices". the accompanying ingredients bolstered the flavour of the chicken. the lettuce was crisp and the tomatoes were fresh. and the bacon? mmmm...extra crispy bacon. my only suggestion is to either substitute the "po' boy" bun with a whole wheat option or toast the bun. the only disappointment was the soup that came with sandwich. i think it was a chowder. very thick and rather tepid in temperature. fire the soup chef...

overall, it was a good feed. the service was very good. the waitress was beautiful in a simple yet elegant way. i was mesmorized with her presence. i ordered all the side dishes for the sandwich. how embarassing...

another fun evening out... we should do it again.

the play? oh yah, the play...

tom was a star. seriously, he was pretty damn good considering he's never acted on stage before. in a one man play or actually any play for that matter, the success of the acting depends on whether the actor has made the critical transition of drawing in the audience to believing he/she is the character he/she is playing. tom had the advantage here in that hank williams lived and died before i was around. i've seen a clip or two of hank but hardly enough to formulate an opinion of whether tom was accurate in his depiction.

that aside, i found it difficult to suspend reality for the first act. after all, that was tom up there. i think most people who know him as a fan or friend had that difficulty for the majority of the play. however, for me, i thought the tom really picked it after the second act. that was when hank really went into a tail spin, getting drunker, more obnoxious, and all religious on us.

i thought the music was excellent with most of the classics (except "tear in my beer") included in the repetoire. tom's rendition of 21 hank tunes was heart wrenching and upbeat when it had to be. he really poured his heart into it. i thought the dialogue really put the songs into context. did i mention, the band was great as well?

worth the 20 bucks? dang right it was...

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

omar shamsoon...



to connoisseurs of day-old regurgitated news:

who the hell is omar shamsoon? well, the fox network is reaching beyond the neocons of america and exporting it's best show, the simpsons, to the middle east.

america's favourite family, speaking in a peculiar egyptian dialect of arabic, will be transformed into the "shamsoon's". homer becomes omar. bart becomes badr. d'oh becomes inshallah.

all references to bacon have been removed. homer's favourite beverage, beer, has been replaced with "pop". donut's, mmm...donuts, is replaced by that venerable arabic cookie snack, the kakh... mmm... kakh. that's going to work...

an early review of the dubbed series by an arab-based blogger who calls himself "the angry arab" said, "I watched a promo segment and it was just painful...They were so unfunny and so annoying, those Arab actors ... the guy who played Homer was one of the most unfunny people I ever watched."

methinks these dubbed episodes will end up in al-qaeda recruitment offices worldwide.

inshallah. and, by the way, death to america...

the daily show.

i stayed up late last night to watch the daily show. special guest was bill o'reilly. bill called jon stewart a pinhead. ha! by the way, bill is still very bitter about the French. get over it and the "freedom" fries, eh.

jon stewart informed us that donald rumsfeld is again dropping a bit of shock and awe in asia. he was in china criticizing the communist regime about hidden and overwhelming spending on it's military. this was quoted from rumfeld's speech:

"i think it's interesting that other countries wonder why they would be increasing their defense effort at the pace they are and yet not acknowledging it. that is as interesting as the fact that it's increasing at the pace it is."

donald, dude... we have problems understanding you. just think how confused the commies are...

the calgary rag herald...

front page story on monday's rag: "will klein be cast as villain?"

according to a "renowned" u. of t. poli sci prof, the federal Liberals will cast as the villain to woo eastern voters in the next election. prof nelson wiseman said, "they will pick on ralph klein again and say they are against private healthcare..."

surprise, surprise...

look, einstein, no that's dr. wiseman, dude, that train left the station a long time ago. water under the bridge, my friend... political vilification works both ways in this country. the feds bash ralphie but don't think ralphie hasn't torn a strip off the feds when drumming up support in the homelands.

it's not news...mr. herald.

Monday, October 17, 2005

well, lookie what we got here...

i was at the doctor's office today with mum (she needs an interpreter). while in the waiting room i was flipping through the calgary rag when i spotted this huge article featuring my ex-boss tom phillips!! if you didn't know already, tom is making his acting debut, playing the role of superstar hank williams, his childhood hero and doppelganger extraordinaire.

the article was hilarious.

commenting on his previous acting experience (or lack thereof), he said, "i wasn't even a tree in a school play...maybe i shoulda' done that before i took on a one-man play..."

his debut as hank williams was "...kind of like playing jesus christ for your first role." tom, you are not jesus christ. maybe, jesus h. christ. ha! for me, it'd be like playin' mao zedong for my first role...

apparently tom didn't have to extensively research for the role. he's lived it for a vast majority of his adult life. "i play in a band. i play honky tonk. i know what's it being around booze all the time..." hear, hear...

the play captures the downward spiral that hank william's life took at the hands of booze and drugs.

"...in the second act (in a steady progression of drunkeness), he's really hammered so he gets obnoxious with the band and audience." in a brilliant observation, tom goes on to say, "ironically, i've come to realize that you have to stay completely sober to play a drunk." tom, dude, that's something i've known for many years.

here's props going out to tom for takin' on new challenges, for memorizin' the 52 pages of lines ("i wouldn't wish that (task) on a dog"). i can't think of a better person to take on hank williams. he's gonna be brilliant.

i'm a fan of hank williams. he was the real deal. he sang real hurtin' songs. unlike the schlock dished out by contemporary wannabe "country" stars. according to the article there's gonna be 21 songs in the play itself. i'm most familiar with songs like "your cheatin' heart" and "i'm so lonesome i could cry" and i'm willin' to hear more...

i think i'm going to dish out for a ducat.

more info at the ironwood bar and grill website.

ps

the 6/49 lottery jackpot is 24 million dullah for wednesday. i know. i know. it's 2 dullah down the drain. it's fun. i luv the adrenaline rush it gives me.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

better late than never...



so, i was late for my linguistics class. funny. i never thought i'd ever enroll in linguistics. it just seemed too esoteric, frivolous a subject. i must have needed it for an option course.

it was unwise to be late. i opened the heavy steel doors to the lecture hall only to discover the place was packed with warm bodies. damn these first year courses. the hall had theatre seating and the only open seats were at the bottom. it seemed to take forever to get down. reaching the floor, i squeaked along the 1960 era cheap tile floor to find an empty seat between 2 really fat guys.

i briefly looked up at the blackboard to see the word "diphthongs" written in solid pink chalk. in my haste, i remember hearing the muffled sound of the instructor repetitiously uttering incomprehensible noises. i drew attention as i fumbled with my briefcase, trying to find my notepad.

"mr. woo, you son-of-a-bitch, are you with us?" said the instructor in a stern but lispy voice.

the instructor had stopped the lecture. i closed my eyes in deep embarassment. i lifted my head up and swiveled it towards the lecturn. there, sitting with his feet propped up on a table and the remote control for the digital projector was stephen. stephen whiteside! what the hell? last i saw him he was magazine boy at chapters...

"well?", said my new linguistics prof.

"yes, dr. whiteside...", i sheepishly replied.

in a hissy fit, he changed to the next slide and resumed his repetitions...

"oi...oi...oi..." followed by an example, "boil...boil...boil..."

each slide was followed by a three dimensional representation of the diphthong.

strange.

that was the dream i had last night.