theoretical solutions...

i was on my routine AM run today. dang it, that was cold... the regular route takes me by centennial high. who the hell named that place, eh? lame. i digress. i was running by the front doors when some dumb ass kid threw an apple at me. what the hell?

theoretical solution: get rid of high school. i mean that too. i'm a firm believer that once the kids learn how to read, rite and do the 'rithmetics they should move on out to the "real" world. i'd say if you haven't learned the basics by the end of jr. high you are in big trouble, my friends.

i know most hi school students are bored out of their minds. so, we should take this chance to rid ourselves of hi school.

show us some luv mr. stephen.

i luv canada.

phew... glad i got that out of the way (it didn't hurt too much, eh).

mr. stephen was batting 1.000 yesterday on day 1 until he brought up the gay marriage thing again. i can see the other parties clamping on to that lil' sound bite. who needs ralphie throwing a wrench into the conservatives' plans when mr. stephen is an expert at it himself?

when will the conservatives present themselves as the viable alternative?

theoretical solution: make conrad black the new leader of the tories... i jest say you... well, i was watching the author of "rescuing canada's right: blah, blah, blah" (the same book that qtlibrarian was floggin' at ezra's loft) on the news yesterday. according to her, the author, mr. black is deeply revered in conservative circles in canada. he has made extraordinary intellectual contributions to conservatism in this great land.

i can see myself supporting mr. black...

politics ain't rocket science...

marc garneau is the newest "star" liberal candidate in quebec. this guy's a fully qualified, card carrying astronaut and he wants to be a politician?

theoretical solution: quickly, someone slap some sense into this guy. i just can't understand this one...

hot gases are expensive...

dang it's cold out there. as i tepidly tap out this weak entry, i'm huddled in front of the 'puter drawing on any available heat given off by the crt and motherboard. why? have you seen my last natural gas bill? last i looked the ambient temperature in the house was 67 F. dang that's cold. i'm aiming for 65 F. should be seeing my breath by then...

how am i going to survive this winter?

theoretical solution: every hour on the hour take a walk outside in the minus 13 weather for 15 minutes. come back inside and admire how hot your house is.

slow news day...

where in the world is bubba?

bonus entertainment

mao zedong would probably spin under the plexiglass if he could see this... click here.

what's happening with the proletariat?

"whatcha gonna do with all that junk? all that junk inside your trunk?"

now that was a football game, despite the eskimos winning... it will definitely go down as a grey cup classic. both offences seemed inept at times. i thought esks' quarterback ricky ray was running out of gas in the fourth quarter. me and LB were chanting, "bring in the sub... bring in the sub". but, surprisingly, he sucked it up and actually did something to win the game.

very exciting. occasionally, i'm reminded about the superior nfl. the nfl still has nothing over the cfl in terms of entertainment value. when was the last time the super bowl this exciting?

on the technical side, i watched it in HD format at LB's house. the cbc did a good job despite using cheaper HD equipment. for this game only, they had the wirecam (a camera suspended on a wire stretched from end zone to end zone, right down the centre of the field). i really liked watching the game from that perspective. why can't they put that camera up for all games? man, they're cheap. other good news... the yellow first down line didn't move!!!

i thought the half time show with the black eyed peas were excellent. i like them kids. good news... they performed the "my humps" song. bad news... no costume malfunctions. ha!

other news...

i had another weird dream last nite. i dreamt i had an overdue dvd rental. when i brought it back to the rental place, the guy told me that the overdue fine was $84!!! i told him i could go out and buy 4 copies of the same dvd with the money... seems like alot of my dreams nowadays have do with delay and procrastination.

i was out running this AM. dang, it was cold wind... i was running up to macleod trail and 162nd ave. 3 hot high school girls were waiting to cross when they started motioning towards a bus stopped at the intersection. they started screaming at the bus driver, "will you take us?!". the school was a mere 400 metres east. puhleese... they climbed on and sped right by me. the driver looked at lil' windblown me as if i was chopped liver. dang, it would of been a long long walk to the next bus stop for a guy like me.

the non-confidence vote is today. newsworld has been putting on commercial spots accompanied by ominous organ music and bells tolling. the headline? "shoooooow dooooown in paaaaaaarliiiiiiament....". cue the bells... dang.

happy thanxgiving...

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable. You pull punches, but people still love you.

What Kind of Food Are You?

while on the subject of food, happy thanxgiving to my american friends!!! i'm not sure if i have any readers in america though... i don't think LS reads this blog...

election's on.

my prognostication (1st ed.) (i bet you were waiting for this...):

current composition of parliament:

liberals: 138
conservatives: 98
bloc heads: 53
ndp: 18
independents: 4
vacant: 2

after the election:

liberals: 130
conservatives: 98
bloc heads: 74
ndp: 9
green: 1
independents: 1

total seats: 313

majority: 157.

there you go... surprise! another minority government. the "science" behind the numbers? none.

i do think the ndp vote will either swing towards the liberals or people will jump on their bandwagon. for now, i'll say they go liberal for the reason the ndp triggered the election.

the conservatives are a curious bunch. they'll run an extremely negative campaign. harper will be in a snit for most of the time. they won't make head way in the maritimes, quebec or ontario (a la ralphie). so, they'll stay the same or gain a couple of seats.

the green party will win a token seat or maybe even 2. in calgary southeast perhaps? no offense to jason kenney...

the token independent will come out of manitoba.

the bloc heads will win all quebec seats except for 1. could that 1 seat belong to martin? most likely.

the liberals... hmmm... they'll get their seats from ontario and the maritimes. that'll be enough to win the most seats. the figure i set is probably inflated, but even so, it will be a minority government again because of the bloc heads.

additional prediction: there will be another election in 2006.

confused? my suggestion: just have a real merry xmas and forget about it...

the hour

had to laugh the other night when i was watching george stromboulopolous. he had, as guest, a leader of a powerful christian evangelical lobby group. the setup: the irs is reviewing the tax exempt status of a catholic church whose leader was questioning the presence of american troops in iraq... the evangelical guy, who is all for killing iraqis, is trying to support his catholic buddy because the government shouldn't be in the business of controlling religious freedom of speech.

ok, that's reasonable, i guess... then he got carried away by saying the government doesn't have the religious expertise to control religious freedom/speech and it ought to stick to things it's good at (dubya, cover your ears) like building roads, purifying water and disaster relief...

that is so hypocritical at so many levels... obviously, this bible thumper's definition of separation of state and church is just a bit selective.

two of the same name...

mystery national park pics #3 and #4. clue: road-to-the-sun and study #4 closely...

i was playing basketball. i'm not sure where i was playing. there was a wooden floor and white walls.

my opponent wore black rimmed glasses, about my height. i couldn't do anything to get away. it seemed the only defence this guy knew this was to hold me, with both arms. i'd be in the clear for a basket but this guy would show up and start obstructing. i'd have to elbow the guy in the gut or stomp with all my might on his toes to get away. when i did, my faceless team mates would spot me and pass the ball. the pass would always fall short or go long. i'd chase the ball but i'd be too slow. it'd be like running in quicksand. i...must...get....to......the.......ball...... but i never got there.

when my team mates took their shots i'd run under the net to recover any rebounds. that's when the guy with the black rimmed glass showed up and start clutching and holding me back. no matter, every shot taken would rim out while i watched helplessly under the basket.

i couldn't do anything.

that's the dream i woke up to...

0 and 4...

mystery national park pic #2. bonus clue: "rising sun".

ok, i'm 0-4 with my cfl playoff predictions. it just shows you how much i know about football. but you must admit that this last weekend's games were upsets.

i thought T.O. had the necessary weaponry to dismantle the alouettes; however, they killed themselves with turnovers (not the apple kind either). it brought back flashbacks of the stampeders game. ouch...

then there were the BC lions... it was a close game due to incompetent quarterbacks on both sides. for edmonton, that ricky ray guy has the weakest arm of all the starting quarterbacks in the league. dave dickenson, BC's starting quarterback is not far back in this category, eh.

the difference between the two? ray has a grey cup ring. dave doesn't. he's a good quarterback but until he wins a grey cup championship he'll be remembered for just being the most efficient signal caller in league history. (aside: as for next year, i suggest to wally buono, coach/general manager of the lions, that backup qb printers is a keeper.)

this same grey cup criterion for immortality applies to henry burris as well.

final prognostication...

this prognostication business is like trying to win the 6/49.

edmonton 21 montreal 18. the eskimos will use their 4th string quarterback in the last 30 seconds to bring the cup home...

i hate the eskimos. so, it's difficult to predict their success. i hate montreal just as much.

i'm not sure if i'll be watching this sunday.

other news...

what the hell is going on with ralph klein these days? he's traipsing around eastern canada giving away more money... ok, some of it goes towards a national scholarship program... next thing you know he'll be cutting 400 dullah cheques for the newfies, eh. i just hope he keeps mentioning his plans for health care reform in this province on this trip. hehehehe...



seldom do we associate ralphie with the word "art" but he personally chose, on behalf of us albertans, the above piece called "Song of my Dream Bed Dance" by artist Joane Cardinal-Schubert to donate to the National Gallery. no offense to ms. cardinal-schubert but thanx ralphie... you can put our wallet back in your pocket.



like in iraq, dubya didn't have a exit strategy for a press conference in china either.

chinooks, sunsets, LB and me...

i went geocaching with LB on saturday afternoon. geocaching is the "sport" of finding hidden treasures with a handheld gps (global positioning system) device. there are treasures all over the place; places you probably walk or bike by every day. it's fun and a good past time.

even a better time on saturday. it was so hot out with the chinook. we picked up a coke slurpee for me and ice tea big gulp for LB at the 130th Ave 7-11 and then spent the latter part of the day on the douglasdale ridge on the eastern flanks of fish creek park. mmm... slurpee...

we didn't find the geocaches we were looking for but we did take in the spectacular sunset though.

other news...

soapydave reported the gunning down of an innocent, endangered, dutch house sparrow last week. to show that the dutch people really do care about the poor little murdered ave and aren't a pack of postal workers, they've erected a tribute webpage. click here.

stay tuned for the resumption of the "mystery national park" photos.

it's dark out at 4 AM...

mystery national park pic #1

i was over at my bro's house at 5 am this morning supervising the LB and LG. damn, it's dark that time of day. i had to supervise their pre-school preps while their folks made a quickie trip to vancouver.

while waiting for them to wake up, i watched the hdtv version of last night's late night with david letterman. damn, that hdtv was so hot. dave was so wrinkly. he was so much funnier on hd.

shock jock howard stern was dave's only guest. he was really wrinkly as well. ya know if you took tom phillips, dyed his hair black, removed his glasses, he'd looked exactly like howard stern.

howard was tirelessly flogging his new radio show on sirius, a new outer space-based satellite delivered radio network. i think he talked about that the last time he was a guest on the show. i'm all for non-censorship, freedom of speech and all that crap that the FCC seems to object to. i'm not sure if alot of people are willing to fork out 12 bucks per month to listen to radio. i guess if you're into howard stern and his outrageous act, it's worth it.

howard likened the potential of satellite radio to water. i.e. who would of foreseen the day where people would buy bottled versions of water? i like the stuff that comes out of the tap myself...

damn that hdtv was sharp. i don't understand why you have to pay extra for it, especially if it's suppose to be the tv format of the future. how's that going to aid in the conversion of viewers of "standard" tv?

other news...

i was riding my bike to my friend bob's house. my right mitt fell out of my jacket pocket somewhere along the way. my right hand froze solid on the way home...

i was on my regular running route the other day. a gaggle of geese flew unusually low overhead, perhaps 50 feet. i thought it was fascinating. the sounds which proceeded them was a mixture of muffled flapping of their wings, a whining noise reminiscent of high tension wire buzz, random honking, and a swoosh that you usually associate with a baseball pop-fly zooming overhead. that was cool...

once again, i'm befuddled over the fuss about the newest harry potter film opening today. perhaps i should read the books one day. it's suppose to be scary, i heard. LG and LB don't like scary movies...

lastly, george takei a.k.a. mr. sulu of star trek fame is gay... nothing wrong with that, eh.

there are so many more important things dude...

i thought i'd wait a few days after the game...

i'm ok now.

there's more important things in life. hugging love ones. watching LG and LB grow up to be brilliant human beings. watching the sunrise. bike riding. taking pics with my Nikon D70. watching movies on dvd. watching beavers in fish creek. helping little old ladies cross the street. reading "pillars of the earth"by ken follett. being awakened by the frigid prairie winds as i run. talking to LS about the latest Nike innovation over the phone. taking time to pet the local rabbit who hangs out in the yard. returning a glove that just happened to fall out of a lady's pocket. dropping a loonie into a downtown beggar's hat. playing catch with LB. shovelling an elderly neighbour's walk. chugging coca colas with soapydave. donating money to earthquake victims. sipping freshly made chai while the sun's rays drench my face. listening to canada geese as they fly south.

yes, they gave away the semi-final game...

yes, it hurt. friends don't hurt each other...

good grief, there are millions of people dying of aids, starvation, oppressed by dictators, subjugated to the terror of war.

damn those edmonton eskimos.

revised prognostications:

west final: bc lions 24 edmonton 21.

east final: T.O. 42 montreal 21.

the 2005 Grey Cup Champions: T.O. overwhelming B.C. 35 to 7.

i'll be watching with great interest but if that CBC yellow first down stripe is either crooked or moves with the camera i'm going bike riding...

things i never knew...

it's amazing what my brother's company, enersul, does. for years, i knew they did stuff with sulfur. i thought they made match sticks.

little did i know they are at the forefront of forming elemental sulfur from sources like sour gas. they have the patent on forming sulfur into lil' spherical pellets. when enersul-brand sulfur pellets run off the conveyor belt to form piles on the ground or in a container ship, the piles are shorter in height compared to similar masses of cheap, imitation, run-of-the-mill of pellets. apparently, this is due to the rolling properties of the enersul pellets.

moreover, in the formation process (liken to the genesis of hail in cumulo-nimbus clouds), the enersul sulfur pellets are desiccated and have less moisture content than those of the competition.

so, there you go... shorter piles and reduced moisture content of enersul sulfur mean big bucks.

funny what you can make a living at...

i thought that was fascinating. if you don't know what your sibling(s) do(es), ask today. i think you'll be surprised.

pet peeves...

the opposition parties of the parliament of canada are the biggest wusses in the universe. bring forth the vote of confidence today!!!

i watch CFL football on tv whenever i can. TSN coverage is ok except for the fact that they are totally incompetent with the graphic (a yellow line) that runs across the screen marking the yardage for a first down. sometimes the line is crooked or moves as the camera tracks the action. what the hell? how complicated could that technology be?

i still think football broadcasts are much better without commentary. hockey for that matter...

i hate it when people criticize football players for "excessively" celebrating touchdowns.

we want our money back. click here.

mystery solved...

not so mysterious machine photo #6
congratulations go out to len... see previous entry...

you're getting close soapydave...

mystery machine photo #5.

dial-y thing...

mystery machine photo #4

dull grey metal...

mystery machine photo #3

a ring a ding dong dandy...

mystery machine photo #2

no chancy mr. dancey

mystery machine photo #1.

how about them stamps, eh? i'm thinking of buying a safeway endzone ticket for the semi-final game vs. the eskimos next weekend.

my cfl playoff predictions: in the west, stamps will win next week, drubbing the esks 35-17. they will beat the bc lions the following week by a score of 32-30. in the east, the roughriders will squeak one out in montreal (24-21). they'll then beat the defending champs T.O. 14-7.

my grey cup prediction: stamps 42 roughriders 23.

i'll review my prognostications next week.

there's a 4 way tie for canada's new national animal. a single vote for each of the following: kitten, wolverine, mink and muskrat. i know less than 10 people read this awful blog but can someone break the tie? all of these are excellent choices...

heroin is bad...muffins are good...

a little taste of afghanistan...

my bro goes to some of the hottest spots on earth on some of his biz trips.

as i write, he's in northern bc sampling chinese restaurant food. apparently, the lost 13th chinese tribe found it's way to chetwynd.

i got this email from my bro yesterday asking whether in my opinion he was seen as competitive.

well, everyone's competitive i told him. it's human nature to out do one another.

however, idiots like me take it to the extreme. case in point, there's this internet hockey pool i'm partaking in. it involves selecting a finite group of nhl players. the 'puter keeps track of how many goals, assists, etc. the group scores each week and compares these totals in a head to head battle with other teams in the pool. ok, blah, blah, blah...

anyway, i find my self obsessed with this game, huddling around the 'puter nightly to see how my "team" is doing, analysing every little detail of the performances of hundreds of hockey player in the nhl.

to carry it even further, i'm listening to radio broadcasts of teams like the mighty ducks, the nashville whatevers. normally, i don't give a rat's ass about these far-flung teams.

every sunday night i'm racked with indecision about who or who not to include on the team.

what's happening to me...?

Castor canadensis...

ok, it's not my best picture of a beaver (Castor canadensis), but i love these giant rats.

for quite a few years now, the "conservators" (aka park wardens) of fish creek provincial park have been "relocating" (i.e. ridding the park of) beavers. dude, how can you not like canada's national mammal? you'll be happy to know that the population of giant rodents has made a considerable comeback from what i've observed in the eastern side of the park. the ponds created by their dams have submerged a few of the trails. yeah!

beavers...you are the comeback kids of 2005!!! congratulations...

happy death day!

hotdogs in the swamp...

my sister is researching shoes in brazil and told me that today is the national day of the dead.

so, to all my brazillian friends, dia feliz dos mortos!!! take care and drive safely...

talking about a death wish, i'm never going to live in mackenzie town for this reason:



i thought this traffic structure was archaic and it's time had passed. but it's my responsibility as an outstanding driver to review the rules of the road.

grass revisited...

grass by the creek...

the cbc a.k.a. "apocalypse now"

gomery part one is coming out tomorrow. times like this i wish the CBC lockout was still in effect.

i was watching HNIC part deux this last saturday. i can see now why the CBC fired chris "world's biggest oilers fan" cuthbert's ass during the lockout. jim hughson's amazing.

halloween 2005 redux

halloween was ok.

i gave the kids (LG and LB) some sage advice during the pre-trick or treating pep talk: 1) use a pillowcase for higher capacity 2) wear streamlined costumes for maximum dexterity 3) hit high density housing (e.g. townhouses) 4) if you can, empty your treat bag once in a while for higher "donations" 5) run 6) push your way to the front 7) if you can, do not embellish the customary scream of "trick or treat" with the line about smelling one's feet...

the kids started at 6 and came back at 7. pfft... i sent them back out. way too early to quit.

best costume at the door was a solitary spongebob square pants. too bad it violated rule #2 - see above. poor kid needed the assistance of a parental unit.

i was looking forward to kids bringing back cans of soda pop (yes, people give out cans of pop) and candied apples for their beleaguered uncle. nodda. people are getting pretty chintzy.

my nephew (LB) was collecting for unicef. he brought back $1.53. what is wrong with this picture?

i had only one kid come to the door with a unicef box. the kid forgot to mention it. doh.

nearly ran out of candy.

kids know exactly what you give them and how much.

looking forward to halloween 2006.